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Thread: Subscriptions

  1. #16
    Administrator TheCableVine's Avatar
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    Default Re: Subscriptions

    Get a can of jalapenos in water. Put the prepared chicken in a bowl. Pour jalapenos (with water) over chicken. Let marinade overnight. Grill the next day.
    "Change does not always equal progress."

  2. #17
    Senior Member yahoo's Avatar
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    i think BOBlocates had a good idea.... really!!!! i have seen some pretty neat inventions on this site......home made stuff
    wise men talk because they have something to say and fools because they have to say something....plato

  3. #18
    Senior Member ProfessionalLocator's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheCableVine View Post
    Get a can of jalapenos in water. Put the prepared chicken in a bowl. Pour jalapenos (with water) over chicken. Let marinade overnight. Grill the next day.
    Okay, that went badly.

    The “Put the prepared chicken” was a little lacking in details so I used my imagination.

    First I started plucking a chicken, which turned out to be a rooster. Guess what, chickens, rooster or not, do not like being plucked. I guess one of the lacking details is whack them on the head before plucking.

    The rooster just raised hell and his fellow chickens rallied to his defense. Between the flopping, pecking and biting rooster and the hoard of attacking chickens he got loose. Now I had a very angry, half naked chicken along with a bunch of chickens trying to kick my ass.

    The half naked chicken, who I have come to name Spartacus, rallied the chickens around him and led them on attack after attack on me. It finally came to a halt when the chickens got tired and we all made camp for the night. The chickens have control of the bedroom leaving me to sleep on the couch in the living room.

    I am concerned how today will go as my shotgun is behind enemy lines in the bedroom closet in chicken territory. While I have food, water and shelter I am now short on firepower.

  4. #19
    Senior Member sprayandpray's Avatar
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    Default Re: Subscriptions

    Pro Loc, you need to find a Fox and sign a NATO-type alliance with him. Promise him all the Chickens he can eat, but leave out the part about the possible armament they have access to and could possibly learn to use if they form an alliance with the Dog! Dogs aren't normally that smart but He might have an alliance with the Cat or Pig that you aren't aware of at this time. Keep us Posted!
    I might not be as good as I once was, but I'm as good once as I ever was !


    It's better to be Pissed Off than Pissed On or Stood On and Pissed Off Of !


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  5. #20
    Senior Member ctdon1952's Avatar
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    Sell the chickens to someone for food stamps and then mail Steve the food stamps. Second thought, send the food stamps down here. lol

  6. #21
    Senior Member ProfessionalLocator's Avatar
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    Okay, another bad day and the fox / dog idea did not do well either.

    No way I could get my hand on a fox so I borrowed my neighbor’s Chihuahua. Maybe size matters and the Chihuahua fell quickly. Chickens have no sense of mercy and their leader Spartacus is still very angry. He released the captured Chihuahua but have you seen the movie Deliverance? I returned a very traumatized dog to my neighbor and now nobody will lend me a bigger dog.

    By the time it was over the chickens had extended their territory to the bathroom. Fortunately the kitchen sink has a garbage disposal so all boldly functions can still be handled.

    The sun sets in a few hours and chickens get quiet after sunset. If I can hold out a few more hours I can prepare for another effort tomorrow or at least to defend my remaining territory.

  7. #22
    Senior Member sprayandpray's Avatar
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    Have you tried Chicken Snakes? I hear they are expensive but effective. I don't know for sure but I heard they place ads in the SoldierOf Fortune Magazine. Good Luck!
    I might not be as good as I once was, but I'm as good once as I ever was !


    It's better to be Pissed Off than Pissed On or Stood On and Pissed Off Of !


    The views expressed on this website/blog are mine alone and do not reflect the views of my employer. or my wife , if that matters.

  8. #23
    Senior Member GPGrasshopper's Avatar
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    I you had just choked your chicken properly at the very beginning you wouldn't be running around with a loaded gun right now.
    I seek not to know the answers, but to understand the questions.

  9. #24
    Senior Member yahoo's Avatar
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    hey GP that was a classic.....hahhahahhahhah.....hey you guys....don't forget about the subscriptions!!!
    wise men talk because they have something to say and fools because they have to say something....plato

  10. #25
    Senior Member ProfessionalLocator's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by yahoo View Post
    hey GP that was a classic.....hahhahahhahhah.....hey you guys....don't forget about the subscriptions!!!

    I already sent mine in and my account is already upgraded.

    Just send money, do not try sending chickens! And if you want chickens do not hop the fence at the Department of Agriculture in Beltsville. Apparently they raise experimental chickens that can be a lot of trouble. Tomorrow when they open I will call and try to get them to come and get the chickens. From the sign on the fence some guy named Abe Normal is in charge of these chickens. Wish me luck.

  11. #26
    Senior Member ProfessionalLocator's Avatar
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    Default Re: Subscriptions

    Another day and I am beginning to get battle fatigue.
    Thinking I would use my size and strike with an extended reach I got a long stick and pounded a few nails through the end.

    My superior weaponry was no match for the surprising organization the chickens have developed. While chickens do not fly well they can get up around head height. These flying wraiths coordinated with the ground troops who met me with flanking maneuvers and diversionary attacks.

    It was like being double teamed by Patton and Rommel.

    I managed to draw some blood and Spartacus lost an eye. Still that is one tough bird and it only slowed him down a little and made him even more angry.

    When the feathers had settled the chickens had now advanced and added the kitchen to their territory.

    I will press on in defense of the homeland but if you do not hear from me again you will know that I have fallen.

  12. #27
    Senior Member ProfessionalLocator's Avatar
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    Things had been too quiet.

    Well I spent my free time on Monday on the cell phone calling in to the Department of Agriculture. But every time I asked to speak to Abe Normal they yelled @$$hole at me and slammed down the phone. Boy, they really must hate that guy.

    So I got home last night and things were quiet so I left it that way. To be safe I slept in the den with the door closed. But when I woke up this morning I found the chickens had taken the rest of my home. Now the only way in and out is though the den’s window. So I washed off with the hose and went to work. My neighbors are idiots, I mean if they did not want to see me showering in the yard they just didn’t have to look. Feel like turning the chickens loose on them and moving out.

  13. #28
    Senior Member sprayandpray's Avatar
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    Default Re: Subscriptions

    Pitiful Pitiful!! Where's Colonel Sanders when you need him?
    I might not be as good as I once was, but I'm as good once as I ever was !


    It's better to be Pissed Off than Pissed On or Stood On and Pissed Off Of !


    The views expressed on this website/blog are mine alone and do not reflect the views of my employer. or my wife , if that matters.

  14. #29
    Senior Member ProfessionalLocator's Avatar
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    Default Re: Subscriptions

    Quote Originally Posted by sprayandpray View Post
    Pitiful Pitiful!! Where's Colonel Sanders when you need him?
    Colonel Sanders is dead, so is Frank Perdue. All the greats are gone.

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