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Thread: Warning Signs Of A Cheating Spouse

  1. #16
    Conservative Meanie ifinditunderground's Avatar
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    Default Re: Warning Signs Of A Cheating Spouse

    Nice, a new spammer in our midst. Forget I said Welcome earlier today.
    There is a fine line between "Hobby" and "Mental Illness."
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  2. #17
    Senior Member Wingfoot's Avatar
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    Default Re: Warning Signs Of A Cheating Spouse

    I Wonder if My Girlfriend is Cheating on Me?




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  3. #18
    Senior Member Wingfoot's Avatar
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    Default Re: Warning Signs Of A Cheating Spouse


    1.) The size of her ass.

    Unless you're dating an aerobics instructor, I'd be very careful before answering this one. And I would not make any attempts to qualify the question by asking things like, "Do you mean width or total surface area". She won't hear anything you say from that point forward. Anyway, she'll be too busy sobbing into her pillow -- the one in the bedroom you're unlikely to be allowed into for the next few days.

    2.) Whether or not you think her friends are hot.

    Do not discuss things like this! Just do yourself and your woman a favor and don't get involved in this kind of discussion. Just tell her that she's the hottest woman you know -- even if her BFF is a Victoria's Secret model.

    3.) Don't tell her how great your ex is.

    For God's sake, don't do this. Most women will immediately feel like they are in a competition with her, even if you haven't seen her since she joined the Hare Krishnas 10 years ago and moved to Iceland. Just tell your present GF that she's the best, and that'll keep things happy.

    4.) How many women you've slept with.

    It's ok to tell your girlfriend a few; most women prefer a man to be experienced in bed. But don't let them think you shagged every girl in your college dorm. It's best to just say a few, and if asked about their skills, do not be silly enough to mention how talented any of them were!

    5.) Is she putting on weight.

    If she's the type who wouldn't normally ask this kind of thing, but suddenly asks if she's getting fat -- the answer is ALWAYS no. I don't care if she's turning into Fat Albert's bigger sister! The answer is NO. She's asking because she already *knows* she's putting on weight, and she's depressed about it. She's looking for a little cheer-up in the form of a white lie. So give it to her. Happy people lose weight faster than depressed people who mope around with jello-pops in their mouths all day.

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  4. #19
    Senior Member Mark's Avatar
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    Default Re: Warning Signs Of A Cheating Spouse

    Quote Originally Posted by Wingfoot View Post
    LOTTERY QUESTION

    A husband says to his wife, "What would you do if I won the lottery?"

    She says, "I would take half, then leave you."

    "Excellent," he replies. "I won 12 bucks. Here's $6. Now, get the f**k out."


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    Nice, lol.

  5. #20
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    Default Re: Warning Signs Of A Cheating Spouse

    I made the mistake just once telling my GF what I thought and not what she wanted to hear.

    Quote Originally Posted by Wingfoot View Post

    1.) The size of her ass.

    Unless you're dating an aerobics instructor, I'd be very careful before answering this one. And I would not make any attempts to qualify the question by asking things like, "Do you mean width or total surface area". She won't hear anything you say from that point forward. Anyway, she'll be too busy sobbing into her pillow -- the one in the bedroom you're unlikely to be allowed into for the next few days.

    2.) Whether or not you think her friends are hot.

    Do not discuss things like this! Just do yourself and your woman a favor and don't get involved in this kind of discussion. Just tell her that she's the hottest woman you know -- even if her BFF is a Victoria's Secret model.

    3.) Don't tell her how great your ex is.

    For God's sake, don't do this. Most women will immediately feel like they are in a competition with her, even if you haven't seen her since she joined the Hare Krishnas 10 years ago and moved to Iceland. Just tell your present GF that she's the best, and that'll keep things happy.

    4.) How many women you've slept with.

    It's ok to tell your girlfriend a few; most women prefer a man to be experienced in bed. But don't let them think you shagged every girl in your college dorm. It's best to just say a few, and if asked about their skills, do not be silly enough to mention how talented any of them were!

    5.) Is she putting on weight.

    If she's the type who wouldn't normally ask this kind of thing, but suddenly asks if she's getting fat -- the answer is ALWAYS no. I don't care if she's turning into Fat Albert's bigger sister! The answer is NO. She's asking because she already *knows* she's putting on weight, and she's depressed about it. She's looking for a little cheer-up in the form of a white lie. So give it to her. Happy people lose weight faster than depressed people who mope around with jello-pops in their mouths all day.

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