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Thread: Best damn dirty rice you'll ever conjure, guaranteed, with the SCAP guarantee.

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    Senior Member scap's Avatar
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    Default Best damn dirty rice you'll ever conjure, guaranteed, with the SCAP guarantee.

    Alright. This recipe here, will allow you to make the best damn dirty rice ever. I'm sharing it with the forum, because before my grandfather recently passed, he told me how proud he was of me working hard. Since I'm in the utility locating industry, I figured he would want me to share this recipe with you, because the last time I cooked it he ate THREE PLATES full at his elder age.... That was crazy, pawpaw never ate that much. I was real proud of myself when he did that, because that man knew how to cook good ol' cajun food and when he tasted my dirty rice, he absolutely loved it and couldn't stop eating it. Lemme tell ya somethin'. My pawpaw, made the absolutely best Thanksgiving dinner ever. Turkey was a little dry, but his dressing was, imho, the best in the world. But moving on, here's my recipe.

    One tube of Jimmy Dean (REGULAR, NOT MAPLE) sausage, runs about 3 bucks and change, two bucks and change depending on where you live.

    One pound of ground meat, preferably 93/7, considering the high fat content of the sausage, you want a lean ground meat to blend with the sausage.

    One box of family sized ZATARAIN'S DIRTY RICE - FAMILY SIZE I EMPHASIZE.

    The main ingredients that make the Zatarains mix taste great, are really the msg that the soy sauce ingredient provides inside the dried mixture that comes with the rice. Someday, I'll learn my own method of dirty rice and it'll be better than this Zatarain's mix, but for now....This is what I do. It works for me, and it will work for you...I PROMISE.

    Get some diced garlic, (can, fresh, doesn't matter. I recommend canned, so you don't have to dick around with garlic after a long day at work, peeling etc I have always found garlic to be a pain.) Take the garlic and put a good THREE HEAPING TABLESPOONS into a bowl with a flattish bottom. Then, take a cup with a flat bottom, and grind the cubes of garlic, like a western pharmacist would grind his prescriptions with a mortar and pestle. Grind, grind grind, takes about 30 seconds if you have two beers in ya. anyway.....

    After you do that, put the garlic mush on a paper plate and set aside. Either buy the chopped onions in a bag if you don't care about price, or chop your own for all I care. Cry me a river, onion choppa! hehe. (id get the pre chopped ones, especially if you had a long day at work, or if you feel like drinking six beers to tolerate chopping an onion finely )

    Moving on...Mix the garlic, and the chopped onions, in with the sausage and the pound of 93/7 ground meat. Mix it well. Knead that shit. Hard. I mean, you need to put some elbow grease into this process...because you are binding sausage, a high in fat meat, with 93/7 ground meat...it's important to have a nice, five minute knead here, otherwise it just don't taste as good...trust scap on this one...

    So by now, you should have your garlic and onioned up sausage/ground meat congregating together in your skillet. (I use a cast iron black skillet for this, but whatever works...trust me, whatever works with this...) If you are thinking healthy, get a little squeezer thing out and when it cooks a bit, squeeze the grease out. (I use an empty can (likely a beercan these days lol) to dump the grease in.) Stir it around, but the most important thing is to prevent massive clumping. You can't leave it unattended. Keep stirring, and separating the meat with the spatula, (BASICALLY YOUR GOAL IS TO MAKE THE GROUND MEAT LOOK LIKE THE GROUND MEAT PRESENTED TO YOU IN GRADE SCHOOL WHEN SPAGHETTI WAS ON THE MENU LOL) ...make it small, you don't want big meatballs. The best dirty rice contains small portions of pork and beef mixed together, not meatballs. We ain't makin' ****in' spahgetti over here.


    Now. It's simple. Follow the directions on the box, in terms of when to mix the meat in, etc. Just follow the directions TO THE T. And, I give you my personal, scappish guarantee, that this dirty rice will be the best damn thing you have ever put in your mouth that has a cajun accent. It's the sausage and garlic that really set it off, in my humble, novice gourmet cooking opinion. ;-P......


    I really hope some people here try this, because my girlfriend LOVES IT. And what's funny is, she's one of those chicks who won't eat sausage for anything, link sausage, patty sausage, NOTHING...So, I decided to fool her. I made this, and told her it was just ground meat. She devoured my dirty rice. She woke up at 1am and got a plate. Next day at lunch, she got a (BIG) plate. She loved it so much, she fought me tooth and nail for the remainder because she had finals coming up so she wanted some good food....I gave it to her with open arms, anything that owuld help my baby do better on a big test like that, I'll give with no problem. But if she didn't have finals, YOU BEST BELIEVE I WOULDNT'VE LET HER GET MY DIRTY RICE.



    Cablevine, enjoy this recipe. Yahoo, I want you to cook this for your family. I know they'll enjoy it thoroughly, my fellow Louisianian. I went into great depth and detail for this recipe, because I know my pawpaw would've wanted the guys in my industry, what he was proud of me for working hard at, (last thing he told me on the phone before he passed) to know how to cook the best dirty rice he ever tasted, which was conjured by yours truly.


    Enjoy, c-vine!

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    Senior Member Dave72's Avatar
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    Default Re: Best damn dirty rice you'll ever conjure, guaranteed, with the SCAP guarantee.

    dang that sounds good scap !!

    I know we have zatarine's rice here, ive had it (good rice), not sure if we have that sausage tho.. im gonna look for it

    Do you think its possible to turn these into patties for a bbq ? Or even just a slab kinda thing on your plate.. a little crusty on the outside and nice texture inside ?
    (May you live in interesting times)

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    Default Re: Best damn dirty rice you'll ever conjure, guaranteed, with the SCAP guarantee.

    Don't forget the hot sauce and side of catfish.

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    Senior Member yahoo's Avatar
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    Default Re: Best damn dirty rice you'll ever conjure, guaranteed, with the SCAP guarantee.

    will try it soon scap!!! i'll call you and let you know what i think!!!
    wise men talk because they have something to say and fools because they have to say something....plato

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    Default Re: Best damn dirty rice you'll ever conjure, guaranteed, with the SCAP guarantee.

    scap, all animosity aside(subtle or otherwise) that does sound good(but long winded and my attention span is short at the moment). I may even get advanceMama to try it out. she's quite the cook and a little sweetheart.
    I might let you know. we already like spicy jambalaya

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    Senior Member yahoo's Avatar
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    Default Re: Best damn dirty rice you'll ever conjure, guaranteed, with the SCAP guarantee.

    yall eat that in canada????
    wise men talk because they have something to say and fools because they have to say something....plato

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    Senior Member scap's Avatar
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    Default Re: Best damn dirty rice you'll ever conjure, guaranteed, with the SCAP guarantee.

    Dave...Any kind of ground sausage will do, I'd aim for a spicy or regular flavor rather than maple or sage flavored ground sausages that you'll find. Don't get the cheapest one...Get the good stuff.



    Advance, when I was in Vancouver I couldn't find the Zatarain's. I'm sure you can find some kind of dirty rice mix though. I was just pretty much out of my element and settled for Uncle Fatih's pizza 5 days out of 7 during the weeks there..(Best damn pizza in east van.)

    I made this tonight. Yahoo, sorry to hear about you dicking it up. Bro, believe me, I have ****ed up my fair share of meals before getting good at cooking. Everyone has to start somewhere, don't get discouraged. Think about guys who boil crawfish excellently. I think sometimes about just how many batches they screwed up before getting the recipe down just right...

    Tonight I put a different little spin on it, I used more onions, this time before I kneaded the pound of ground sausage and ground meat in a bowl, I took a large onion and a cheese grater and basically made onion marmalade...used the smallest holes I could find on the grater and grated it away, and added it to the 3 tbsp of smushed minced garlic that I smushed by placing into a large bowl, and using a smaller bowl to smush it up good with. After I did this, I put an entire thing called a 'Seasoning Pack' in. It was frozen.

    Then, I put all this into a large bowl, threw a little pepper on there...and started mixing, mixing, mixing. Mix for a good 2-3 minutes hard with your hands. You have to really knead the hell out of this like it's a pizza or it won't be as good.

    Ok, once in the pot and it's on medium to medium-high, (like 6 out of 10) stir every 3-4 minutes....What I Like to do is stand around the pot with 2 beers...I drink the first beer and by then I've stirred it twice..

    Once you stir it twice open the second beer cover it up and wait like 5-6-7 minutes or until all the meat in tere is cooked...gotta do alotta stirring...make sure it's all cooked and ground up and before you drain it, empty half of your 2nd beer into the mixture and the boil will stop.....Turn it up to high and go to full boil for 3 min. Then drain all of the liquid, the grease /beer etc. It will be about twelve ounces if you used 93/7 ground meat, and most of that will be the beer and the seasoning pack which was frozen when you added it (btw that pack is chopped onions, bell peppers, red peppers, good stuff.) --



    So, thats how I make it more 'healthy' I threw a new twist on it with the beer tonight but I'm always messing with my dirty rice recipe...it's the last thing I cooked for my grandpa and I just wanted to share it with you guys since everyone here has alot of respect for the military, which was a big part of his life.
    "The truth is rarely pure and never simple"-Oscar Wilde

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    Senior Member RD_Wrangler's Avatar
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    Default Re: Best damn dirty rice you'll ever conjure, guaranteed, with the SCAP guarantee.

    Quote Originally Posted by scap View Post
    So, thats how I make it more 'healthy' I threw a new twist on it with the beer tonight but I'm always messing with my dirty rice recipe...it's the last thing I cooked for my grandpa and I just wanted to share it with you guys since everyone here has alot of respect for the military, which was a big part of his life.
    Made this last night myself scap. It is now on my permanent list of home recipes!!!! Family loved it. My 6 y-old at 2 plates, and she's among the pickiest eaters on the planet.

    Thanks for sharing.

    (note***) I added peppers to the mix (green bell and some chopped chilis) was awesome!
    Character is what you are in the dark. It is the things you do, when nobody can see, and nobody will ever know, that define who you are as an individual.

    "Government big enough to supply everything you need is big enough to take everything you have ... The course of history shows that as a government grows, liberty decreases." Thomas Jefferson

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    Senior Member underground quester's Avatar
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    Default Re: Best damn dirty rice you'll ever conjure, guaranteed, with the SCAP guarantee.

    Quote Originally Posted by yahoo View Post
    yall eat that in canada????

    That we do indeed Yahoo!!

    Have a few good cajun restraunts here.

    My wife also cooks up a jambalaya that is awesome.
    She got the receipe from a friend in Portland Ore. who took some cooking classes in New Orleans.
    Success is a journey, not a destination...

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    Senior Member scap's Avatar
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    Default Re: Best damn dirty rice you'll ever conjure, guaranteed, with the SCAP guarantee.

    Quote Originally Posted by RD_Wrangler View Post
    Made this last night myself scap. It is now on my permanent list of home recipes!!!! Family loved it. My 6 y-old at 2 plates, and she's among the pickiest eaters on the planet.

    Thanks for sharing.

    (note***) I added peppers to the mix (green bell and some chopped chilis) was awesome!
    Glad to hear that it came out good, and especially glad that your little one ate two plates.
    "The truth is rarely pure and never simple"-Oscar Wilde

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    Default Re: Best damn dirty rice you'll ever conjure, guaranteed, with the SCAP guarantee.

    How much onion do you use?

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    Senior Member Mark's Avatar
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    Default Re: Best damn dirty rice you'll ever conjure, guaranteed, with the SCAP guarantee.

    Quote Originally Posted by amjekj View Post
    How much onion do you use?
    I would go with one medium sweet onion. And use fresh garlic for cripes sake!

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    Conservative Meanie ifinditunderground's Avatar
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    Default Re: Best damn dirty rice you'll ever conjure, guaranteed, with the SCAP guarantee.

    What the hell ever happened to Scap anyway?
    There is a fine line between "Hobby" and "Mental Illness."
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    Senior Member Mark's Avatar
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    Default Re: Best damn dirty rice you'll ever conjure, guaranteed, with the SCAP guarantee.

    Quote Originally Posted by ifinditunderground View Post
    What the hell ever happened to Scap anyway?
    I think he might be out of the game? One of his last posts:

    Quote Originally Posted by scap View Post
    well...utiliquest just laid me off, "workforce reduction" straight from corporate supposedly...I'm not the best tech there but top five easily in a 25 tech office. and it was in the last week of the month i took off for a brutal case of acute laryngitis. and I worked with it when it came onset, thinnking it would go away, I always goto work when I'm sick..the last friday i took off I got laid off...that next monday I was going to go back fulltkime because I was nearing a full recovery..but I had 2 deaths this year in the family and had time off for those, probably lowest production on the team because I'm on projects, yet my superiors always told me not to worry about productions, goddamn shame they didnt fight for me and tell corporate that I was on projects...just woulda figured they did that instead of just let them hang me by the nutsack. When you're on projects all the time and that's all you do, you come out low on production spreadsheets if you take pride in your projects

    uq is ok.
    sucks that they suckerpunched me at christmas time,

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    Premium Member daman1's Avatar
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    Default Re: Best damn dirty rice you'll ever conjure, guaranteed, with the SCAP guarantee.

    Quote Originally Posted by Mark View Post
    I think he might be out of the game? One of his last posts:
    If you get put on a project crew you may as well start putting apps in now. Ten times the walking/working, 1/10th driving between tickets, 1/10th the production, 0/10th the credit while the rest of the crew tries to stick the project crew with every ticket they don't feel like doing. The nasty comments and bitching to your boss from contractors whose machines dig/bore faster than any man can keep up. Lose/Lose if you ask me.
    TheCableVine likes this.

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