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Thread: Monkey Butt

  1. #1
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    Default Monkey Butt

    Any one know how to prevent monkey butt? When it starts to get warm and start sweating, everyone knows where this is going! Is there some kind of material type shorts for this or what????

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    Senior Member ProfessionalLocator's Avatar
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    Default Re: Monkey Butt

    Quote Originally Posted by JRLocator View Post
    Any one know how to prevent monkey butt? When it starts to get warm and start sweating, everyone knows where this is going! Is there some kind of material type shorts for this or what????
    Locate naked. It also makes the job go faster, nobody comes out of the house to ask what you are doing.

  3. #3
    Senior Member Wingfoot's Avatar
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    Question Re: Monkey Butt

    Quote Originally Posted by Wingfoot View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Dave72 View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Wingfoot View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Wingfoot View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Wingfoot View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Wingfoot View Post
    There is nothing more restrictive to a locator than a sore pucker-hole or a ruby red taint. Butt pastes are for 'after the fact.' This is the solution for diaper rash:


    The boxer style and microfiber material combine to make the perfect underwear for locators.

    Microfiber is a fiber with less than 1 denier per filament. It is a description of the size of the fiber or filament. While many microfibers are made of polyester, they can also be composed of polyamide (nylon) or other polymers. Microfibers were first publicized in the early 1990s in Sweden.

    Microfiber performance apparel has become a very popular alternative to cotton apparel for athletic wear, such as cycling jerseys, because the microfiber material wicks moisture away from the body, keeping the athlete cool and dry. Microfiber, used as material in underwear, allows for more rapid drying of the locator's ass and less skin irritation due to moisture and/or manure. Microfiber closely follows the contours, bulges, cracks and crevasses of the lower extremity. There is no skin to skin contact to allow friction or rubbing while walking, the leading cause of an irritating rash.

    If an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure, then these 4 ounces of underwear is worth 50 tons of cure! Before my use of these boxers, I had a galled ass almost every day. Seriously, there were days I couldn't walk! Since my first day 2 years ago of wearing the microfibers, I have never had a swamp ass reoccurrence! NEVER! Even on those hot and humid days after my pasty dumps!

    A single guy would most likely buy the Calvin Kliens, as pictured on the above model ($32.00 at a whack), but I buy my Chinese knock-offs at WalMart at $7.00 a pair.

    Guys, TRUST me on this one......... No more ruby red taints! GUARANTEED!

    Whoo! HOO!

    Sparing all the graphic details, my microfibers really did their job for me yesterday. I was brutal to my shorts, and I am very happy with the results. All locators that weigh over 200 lbs must have these microfibers in their arsenal..... I know Momma's gonna make me do the next load of my linens after seeing what I thew in the clothes hamper last night.
    I now have an inventory of 20+ of these Microfiber Miracles! Half are white and the other half are a rainbow of different solid colors!



    LifePower Sculptured Pouch microfiber boxer briefs

    Now available in Bone-Us 2 Packs (2 for price of 1) at a WalMart next to you!

    Ladies - Makes a GREAT Christmas stocking-stuffer for your Paint Slinging MAN!
    Whoo Hooo! 5 months since my last update and still no flare-ups! These microfibers are incredible!

    ---------------------------------------------------
    Wonder if they make socks like that too (each toe in its own home).

    Im waiting to see the microfiber shorts with the 2 pockets in the front.. betcha traveling with the stick and luggage separate would be even *better* !?

    (oddly, im not being sarcastic.. this is a thing us older guys need to pay attention too.. sadly.. lol)
    That kinky linen belongs to the single college man or the playa and not meant to be hanging on the ass of a mature, married, working man........ I can feel the proud flesh on my taint already start to flinch just at the thought of wrapping that creepy piece around my anatomy....

    -----------------------------------------------------
    Hey JR - Welcome to the'Vine! Above I have listed my past posts on this subject. The PREVENTION of monkey-butt is MICRO-FIBER boxer briefs! The moment you pull the first pair of these micro-fiber boxer briefs over yer ass you will know you just found the answer to the problem that plagues all locators - galled-ass. I have gone years without a single swamp-ass flair-up since I switched to the micro-fibers! And I ain't kidding! I threw all my old underwear away and now I own 20+ pairs of the new boxer briefs. Life is Good!

    ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

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    Default Re: Monkey Butt

    i thought about trying those. I went to trunks. The briefs, boxer and the boxer briefs were not getting things done. For the guy that asked about socks. Gander mountain has them. wigwams is the brand i think, they wick the moisture away from your feet.

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    Senior Member sprayandpray's Avatar
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    Default Re: Monkey Butt

    A dusting of Baby Powder in the am does the trick for me.
    I might not be as good as I once was, but I'm as good once as I ever was !


    It's better to be Pissed Off than Pissed On or Stood On and Pissed Off Of !


    The views expressed on this website/blog are mine alone and do not reflect the views of my employer. or my wife , if that matters.

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    Senior Member AULupstate's Avatar
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    Default Re: Monkey Butt

    There is 'actually' a product CALLED 'Monkey Butt' with the expressed purposed of preventing said affliction.

    Other than that, Gold Bond and Under Armour is what I prefer.

  7. #7
    Senior Member yahoo's Avatar
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    Default Re: Monkey Butt

    tried those microfiber shorts that Wing was talking about last year........really works well for me!!! buy them at your local walmart! we have an old post about this somewhere in the archives!!!!
    wise men talk because they have something to say and fools because they have to say something....plato

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    Default Re: Monkey Butt

    Thanks Wingfoot, I'll check them out over at W/M. I hope this was helpful to many others.

  9. #9
    Senior Member Wingfoot's Avatar
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    Default Re: Monkey Butt

    Quote Originally Posted by yahoo View Post
    tried those microfiber shorts that Wing was talking about last year........ We have an old post about this somewhere in the archives!!!!
    Here is the the thread yahoo is speaking about:

    No More Ruby Red Taints - Guaranteed!

    ----------------------------------------------------------------------

  10. #10
    Senior Member 1idejim's Avatar
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    Default Re: Monkey Butt

    Quote Originally Posted by ProfessionalLocator View Post
    Locate naked. It also makes the job go faster, nobody comes out of the house to ask what you are doing.
    where ya put your pencil?
    You Can't Fix It Till You Find It - Jim 3:23

  11. #11
    Senior Member Dave72's Avatar
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    Default Re: Monkey Butt

    Quote Originally Posted by 1idejim View Post
    where ya put your pencil?
    Tuck it under your 'dunlop'..
    (May you live in interesting times)

  12. #12
    Senior Member Wingfoot's Avatar
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    Default Re: Monkey Butt

    Poke it in the part that puckers.

    ----------------------------------------------------------------

  13. #13
    Senior Member ProfessionalLocator's Avatar
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    Default Re: Monkey Butt

    Unfortunately I researched this topic myself and WingFoots devotion to his butt has left disturbing images in my mind.

    Now boys and girls they used to tell us "this will go on your permanent record" and in this day of the internet this is true.

    WingFoots devotion to the cure of monkey butt went so far as documentation.
    While this is laudable for one researching the cure for the many horrendous diseases facing mankind it is in this case going too far.

    WingFoot before treating his monkey butt.





    WingFoot after treating his monkey butt

    Wingfoot likes this.

  14. #14
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    Default Re: Monkey Butt

    Quote Originally Posted by 1idejim View Post
    where ya put your pencil?
    I leave it in the truck. Don't need it until
    I get back there anyway.

  15. #15
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    Default Re: Monkey Butt


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