Happy Birthday Chuck Norris!!!!!!!!

**AULupstate** · March 11th, 2009, 08:20 PM

I can't belive no one has said happy birthday to Chuck Norris!! Your all lucky he's not here, he'd round house kick everyone in the face!

Chuck Norris's tears cure cancer. Too bad he doesn't cry.

Death had a near-Chuck Norris experience.

**sprayandpray** · March 11th, 2009, 09:29 PM

I heard he wants to be Pesident of Texas when we secede - alas, he was born in Oklahoma so he's not a legitimate candidate. Unless he can pull the same trick with his birth certificate as King Hussein. I wonder if Oswald could help him?

**AULupstate** · March 11th, 2009, 09:36 PM

Come on vine, i want to hear some of your chuck norisisms.

**scap** · March 17th, 2009, 09:41 PM

Alright this one is actually a true story, not a joke.

So, Chuck went to entertain a group of marines and one guy kept begging Chuck to punch him with one good shot...Kept begging and begging and finally Chuck agreed to put him in a chokehold (for a picture or something) and he accidentally choked the poor fukr unconscious lol. You can't hide from that seething power. After that, guys were lining up to get choked out, that's the way I heard it...

**Wingfoot** · March 18th, 2009, 08:41 PM

Originally Posted by scap

Alright this one is actually a true story, not a joke.

So, Chuck went to entertain a group of marines and one guy kept begging Chuck to punch him with one good shot...Kept begging and begging and finally Chuck agreed to put him in a chokehold (for a picture or something) and he accidentally choked the poor fukr unconscious lol. You can't hide from that seething power. After that, guys were lining up to get choked out, that's the way I heard it...

Hulk Hogan did the same thing with comedian Richard Belzer on live TV in 1985. The Hulk put a "chin lock" on Belzer and knocked him out! The Hulk let the sleeping Belzer go. Then the limp Belzer smacked the floor hard enough to slice his head wide open......... Blood everywhere! When the smoke cleared, the Hulk bought Belzer a house in France. Check it out:

-------------------------------------------------

**scap** · March 18th, 2009, 10:31 PM

Originally Posted by Wingfoot

Hulk Hogan did the same thing with comedian Richard Belzer on live TV in 1985. The Hulk put a "chin lock" on Belzer and knocked him out! The Hulk let the sleeping Belzer go. The the limp Belzer smacked the floor hard enough to slice his head wide open......... Blood everywhere! When the smoke cleared, the Hulk bought Belzer a house in France. Check it out:

-------------------------------------------------

wow. law and ordered!