A guaranteed money maker!!!

[Bad Robot]

After spending the past half hour trying to find a place to vacate, I had a flash of inspiration. Why can't someone create an Ipod app that will use Google Earth or some other satellite technology to help guys like us find the nearest porta john, municipal park, whatever..?

I'm in new areas all the time, and if I had a buck for everytime I've almost had a meltdown..ha-ha...

[FailedSafetyAudit]

But you incorrectly assume that a porta-potty is the only place to drain the lizard.

Get a 16 oz bottle of apple juice or orange juice and after consuming the contents, keep the bottle around and then use it for the lizard draining in the comfort and privacy of your vehicle. I do this multiple times every single day, never been caught.

Then dump the urine in a nearby sewer grate or bush. If anyone sees you and says anything, just say it was the apple juice or orange juice advertised on the bottle.

Seriously no one else does this???

[Wingfoot]

I spent many years traveling a hundred mile radius of Kansas City, selling Goodyear truck/farm tires and a small stint selling welding rods to factory maintenance departments. I learned quickly to become a successful salesperson, I had to know where there is a good place to eat, where I can use a telephone quickly and a good place to poop wherever I was in my area; no matter the time of day. Hotels, city halls, nursing homes, retirement centers, doctor offices and dentist offices have the cleanest, most private toilets and the TP was always pillow soft! Mmmm! Mmmm! Mmmm!

As a locator, I always carry slip-on bedroom slippers with me so I don't track mud across hotel lobbies/doctor/dentist office floors on muddy days. So as not to draw too much attention whenever I visit these establishments to poop, I never ask, "Where's the toilet?" It's always best to act as if I know where I'm going and what I'm doing. There's always a toilet close to the ladies at the front desk or next to the pool at a hotel.

I've only been asked once to never come back. I was cornered by "Hotel Habib." I took a dump using the crapper next to his pool, I made the flush, opened the door and there stood Habib, inches from the door. (I've always wondered if the creep had his ear pressed against the door?) Using the same tone of voice he uses praising Allah he said, "You are not a resident here! You stay out!"

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[ifinditunderground]

But you incorrectly assume that a porta-potty is the only place to drain the lizard.

Get a 16 oz bottle of apple juice or orange juice and after consuming the contents, keep the bottle around and then use it for the lizard draining in the comfort and privacy of your vehicle. I do this multiple times every single day, never been caught.

Then dump the urine in a nearby sewer grate or bush. If anyone sees you and says anything, just say it was the apple juice or orange juice advertised on the bottle.

Seriously no one else does this???

The good old truckers buddy. Gatorade bottles are best for this. I always had a 32 oz gatorade bottle stashed under the seat in my vac truck and another in my support vehicle/designating vehicle.

[RedToes]

Any suggestions for women (who don't exactly have a lizard that can be drained)?

[ifinditunderground]

There is absolutely a product for women, I have seen it. Can't remember what it is called. i bet Wing can find it. Looks like a funnel.

[paintitnow]

they have femal urinals. You can actually get one either at target or target online

[Mke]

For all those lacking lizards

http://www.techfemina.com/entry/stan...-pee-like-men/

and no i'm not a perv. My wife however, was paranoid about an up-coming road trip..... we still stopped every two hours or so at the rest stops.... go figure.

Mke

[UULC]

Damn, our Viners are very resourceful. Go figure. Mike good find. I was betting on Wing posting something first.

[Turk182]

The area I had when I was still locating was out in the boonies, with woods everywhere, so if anyone ever asks you if a locator poops in the woods the correct answer is yes.

[paintitnow]

also corn fields are tall enough by mid july. Just do not use the leaves. They are sharp lol

[Wingfoot]

For all those lacking lizards

http://www.techfemina.com/entry/stan...-pee-like-men/

and no i'm not a perv.

Mke

Mmmmmm... Mke - Wingfoot may be a perv - He found the video on the Techfemina web sight, "Women, Now You Can...PEE STANDING UP!" a little bit arousing............ (Girlz writing in the snow...... What a concept!)

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[UULC]

See Wing, I knew you would noy let me down.

[Wingfoot]

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[TheCableVine]

That last pic reminds me of my old concert days. Women are allowed to use the mens bathroom during heavy metal concerts. That's just the way it is. I guess the lines are too long for the womens bathroom. It's known as "concert rules".