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Thread: The Ant And The Grasshopper

  1. #1
    Member Utilitrack's Avatar
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    Default The Ant And The Grasshopper

    THE ANT AND THE GRASSHOPPER

    > OLD VERSION: The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer
    > long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.
    >
    > The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and
    > plays the summer away.
    >
    > Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.
    >
    > The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.
    >
    >
    >
    > MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself
    >
    >
    > MODERN VERSION:
    >
    >
    > The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his
    > house and laying up supplies for the winter.
    >
    >
    > The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and
    > plays the summer away.
    >
    > Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and
    > demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed
    > while others are cold and starving.
    >
    >
    > CBS, NBC, PBS, CNN, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the
    > shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable
    > home with a table filled with food. America is stunned by the sharp
    > contrast.
    >
    >
    > How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor
    > grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?
    >
    > Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper and everybody
    > cries when they sing, ‘It’s Not Easy Being Green.’
    >
    >
    > Acorn stages a demonstration in front of the ant ‘s house where the
    > news stations film the group singing, ‘We shall overcome.’ Rev.
    > Jeremiah Wright then has the group kneel down to pray to God for the
    > grasshopper’s sake.
    >
    >
    > Nancy Pelosi & Harry Reid exclaim in an interview with Larry King that
    > the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both call
    > for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his fair share.
    >
    >
    > Finally, the EEOC drafts the Economic Equity & Anti-Grasshopper Act
    > retroactive to the beginning of the summer.
    >
    >
    > The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green
    > bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is
    > confiscated by the Government Green Czar.
    >
    >
    > The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of
    > the ants food while the government house he is in, which just happens
    > to be the ant’s old house, crumbles around him because he doesn’t
    > maintain it.
    >
    >
    > The ant has disappeared in the snow.
    >
    >
    > The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident and the
    > house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize
    > the once peaceful neighborhood.
    >
    >
    > MORAL OF THE STORY: Be careful how you vote in 2010.
    Mark likes this.

  2. #2
    Senior Member sprayandpray's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Ant And The Grasshopper

    I might not be as good as I once was, but I'm as good once as I ever was !


    It's better to be Pissed Off than Pissed On or Stood On and Pissed Off Of !


    The views expressed on this website/blog are mine alone and do not reflect the views of my employer. or my wife , if that matters.

  3. #3
    Senior Member Wingfoot's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Ant And The Grasshopper

    Last Saturday I talked to Ron, a contractor who provides the service to install the new carpets sold by flooring companies in town. Laying carpet is physically demanding work (it makes your ass sweat) and the pay is so - so....... Due to recent laws heavily fining contractors caught using cheap and dependable "undocumented immigrants," Ron now has a difficult time finding good help. Ron has dependable retirees from unrelated fields working for him now, but the heavy lifting and the carpet stretching takes it's toll on these geezers.

    Ron can't find a qualified young person willing to put in the effort to make this a career. Ron shared with me this story:

    A young man called Ron for a job. The kid had a sad story of living in his handicapped mommy's basement. The fella said that although he had no experience laying carpet, he was physically able to meet the challenges and not afraid of sweating and getting dirty. The $15 per hour cash was agreeable but the kid had no transportation. Ron said he would pick him up every day.

    The first week went very well. Friday, Ron paid the kid $500 and said, "See you Monday." Monday morning, the kid wasn't standing out front like every morning the week before. Mommy answered the door when Ron approached the house and said, "I can't get him out of bed!" Ron asked if the kid partied all weekend. Mommy said the kid gave all his money to her for his owed rent. Ron left, not expecting to return.

    3 weeks later, the kid called Ron back with full apologies and BEGGING for a second chance. Ron agreed. Every morning, the kid was waiting outside for Ron and the week went very well again. Friday, Ron paid the kid another $500 with a promise to be ready Monday morning for another week.

    Monday morning the kid approached Ron and said, "Now that I have experience, I can't work for less than $19 per hour!" Ron left him standing in the yard.

    Ron said this is typical of the next generation of workers and not just an unusual event. I guess the next generation lives in a dream world - expects a good job - no experience required - cash money - no drug screening - free transportation - establish their own schedule - rapid advancement - name your own pay scale - WoW!

    -------------------------------------------------------------
    Last edited by Wingfoot; October 25th, 2009 at 10:53 AM.

  4. #4
    Senior Member USIC1's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Ant And The Grasshopper

    Quote Originally Posted by Wingfoot View Post
    I guess the next generation lives in a dream world - expects a good job - no experience required - cash money - no drug screening - free transportation - establish their own schedule - rapid advancement - name your own pay scale - WoW!

    -------------------------------------------------------------

    Hows about also throwing in a medical marijuana exception permit!?!?!

    Oh, my aching paint gun carpal trigger finger syndrome, have to fire me up a doob to suppress this...

    Sorry boss Im approved...

    Yes i properly cleaned my bong today bossman... All resins freshly scrapped and inhaled accordingly... Ready for work detail.. SIR!!!



    Liberality and Jaundice for Alll!!!

  5. #5
    Senior Member beyond help's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Ant And The Grasshopper

    You mean to tell me, that some shithead, lazy ass kid. Wants to make more money than me after 2 weeks of work. This kid can suck my schvetty bolls. There are a couple real big problems with this country.

    1. Politicians have totally ****ed up this country.
    2. Most parents let their kids do what they want, just so long as they don't have to deal with them.
    3. Most kids (18-26 year olds) have no idea what holding a job for more than a couple months is like. and just figure, their parents, or their government owes them.

    Just a little taste on how ****ed we are becoming: I had a lady in her early
    20's ask me why I was locating her utilities. After explaining the entire process in how the excavation will take place, and why I am here. She then asks if we are hiring. I explain that we don't start hiring until around New Years, and that you must have a valid drivers license, a high school diploma, and be able to pass a drug / criminal screen. She then proceeds to ridicule me about how that's rediculous and that she only has a GED (tried to tell her the GED was the same as a diploma), her license is suspended for another month, and that she's been in jail several times. She then starts giving me the sad story how her 5, yes count them FIVE kids can barely afford to eat. SO of course being the dumbass I am, I ask what does the father do. To make a long story short, 5 kids, 4 different fathers. Then she tells me that her money from the state is about to run out and that they have to live on the money for the kids.
    She then started saying how Obama was going to help her out. Then being the real ignorant idiot that I am, I asked here how was he going to help you. She said that Obama was going to give her money. I then said, So he's going to give you part of his paycheck. She said oh no, He's going to give me some government money. I then asked the real dumb question; Where does the government get their money. She said from Obama, he's going to print what we need. I then ask the most ignorant question of all: Who pays for that money? She then gets this puzzeled look on her face and says The government. Now I've had enough. I tell her the only way the government, and this includes the messiah, gets money is from the taxpayers. She then asks the most blonde question I've ever heard. "You mean to tell me that the taxpayers are the one's who print the money, and they send it to us."

    At this time, I make my phone ring and tell her I have to go. I pretend to answer it, and babble for a few minutes while I locate out the rest of the job. As I put my stuff back in the truck, she says thanks for the help. She was going to call a taxpayer to get some money. It took every fiber of my being not to laugh and slap her silly. I just nodded, and said have a nice day.
    STRESS: The confusion created when one's mind overrides the body's basic desire to choke the living daylights out of some idiot who desperately deserves it.

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