People in Wal-Mart

**Wingfoot** · November 22nd, 2009, 08:17 PM

PEOPLE IN WAL-MART

Walmart is Grrrrrreat!

“Where the hell is the cereal aisle?”
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It Feels Like A Midget Is Hanging From My Necklace

I’m not a mother, but I’m pretty sure there are more appropriate ways to breast feed than just letting your kid swing from your tit while you push your cart up and down the aisles looking for lampshades.
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All Smiles

You know you don’t have to dress as the logo to shop there, right?
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I Like Your Fuzzy Hood

I can’t tell if that’s a hooker or a teenage European boy……or both.
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Tramp Stamped

Dear Skeezy McSkeezerson; Thanks for moving your nightie so we could get a nice glance at whatever it is you inked above your crack to thwart off potential suitors.
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Out For A Jog

Nice wonder-bra. Now I just wonder why you think you don’t need to add a shirt to that outfit.
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One In The Tink

Hey Tinker Bell, maybe you should try pants. Also, if you do insist on wearing your underwear out in public, maybe you should try age appropriate underwear. But I would still try the pants first.
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Work It Nana

We have this picture up so that you can stare at it for 5 minutes to decide if she is hot, then try to convince yourself that you don’t actually think she’s hot when you know she really is.
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Real Subtle Grandma

I don’t know many 20 year olds who have the balls to rock that hat! Let alone someone who (1) is out to pick up Werther’s Originals, (2) knits, and (3) watches Murder, She Wrote.
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Missing the Point

I guess a bathing suit cover isn’t as self explanatory as I thought it was. Here is a hint, it is supposed to COVER!
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Peek-A-Boo

I can’t decide what to stare at!! Should I try to figure out what she is wearing and how/why parts are sticking out? Or should I decided why she would wear whatever it is with those shoes?
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TIGHTER!!!

I bet this guy is wearing a condom just so everything is tight and snug…. Come to think of it, this guy kind of looks like a big condom... But I don’t have the balls to tell him that.
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Building A Hunger In The Food Aisle

As a male, the first thing that comes to my mind is “awesome”. But believe it or not, some people might find this inappropriate attire for shopping online---let alone in public.
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I’m In Love With A Stripper

I think she has already signed up for season 4 of Rock of Love.
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The Irony Of “Self Checkout”

Hey Beyonce, throw on some pants and a whole shirt….your gut is creeping into the bags.
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Blue Dragon

Are those ankle weights, half-socks or sweatbands? Does she think that if things are kind of the same color they can go together? Are see-through shorts only appropriate with shiny blue hats? I wish I knew how these things worked.
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Damaged Goods

Cat food, check. Ace bandage, check. Scuba diver for fish tank, check. Mirror? How the hell did that get on here?
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Nerdy......

How do you say “Miss, your camel toe just spit on my shoes” in Nerdy?
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Not So Much

If the entire word “Bootylicious” can easily be read across your ass, believe it or not, it’s probably not actually bootylicious.
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Need More Supplies

Have I been huffing what? Huffing paint? What? Really? Where would you get that?…….Okay yes. Yes I have. It makes the cat food taste better.
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Can You See Me Now?

Maybe the High-Visibility Lime Green would work better.
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Moulin Rouge

The real lady marmalade…..not the sexy french song version, the fruit preserve.
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Perfect Fit

Okay, we got the middle covered, now we just have to worry about the top and the bottom, but its a start Honey. You’ll get it eventually.
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Trap Door

You know, I hate having to pull my pants down and my shirt up to take a sh*t too. I think you have just invented a genius new idea there big guy!
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How Do You Like It?

I am speechless.
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It’s Better Than Yours

This is how to not bring all the boys to the yard with your milkshake.
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Not Quite

Well, lets all be thankful that at least half is covered.
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Some Of That Funky Stuff

Ain’t nothin’ but a G-string baaaaabay! Two butt cheeks shakin’ like craaaaazay!
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Hard To Believe

It seems like you just started adding random things to that list. Midgets and DSL make you hard? Really?!
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Living The Dream

If you think big enough, and you work hard enough maybe you can get yourself a mobile home! But don’t get too cocky. You ain’t gettin you no double-wide! So cool it there Mr. big time dreamer.
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Just Clowning Around

Even clowns buy their funny cards here…
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Room For 1

I love it. I wish I could have seen Bozo the clown come out, unlock the handcuffs, and roll away carrying his bags.
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I Present the Walmart Tuxedo

What? Me Hurry?
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Hocus Pocus

It’s either a horrible trick or a disgusting treat.
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Mud Butt

I REALLY hope that isn’t what I think it is…
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Front to Back

Now that’s a titty!
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Head Case

“Hey PoWM (People of Walmart), how do you know if someone has too much time on their hands?” Great question. Well, a terrific start would be to spot the person who created their own moronic shirt to distract people from the absolutely awful mess they created on their head.
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Sample! Really?

After visiting our site would you really be shocked if you actually saw someone sampling this?
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Jack ‘Em Up

It’s funny because it’s true.
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Uh Oh

I tried to fart and a little sh*t came out. I just sharted. Now let’s go.
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Hog Tied

I’m curious as to whether getting arrested half naked in Walmart is his high or low point in his life.
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“R” Must Be For “Relax And Have A Cold One”

Gotta do something while the Mrs. is shopping, right?

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