Give some of your Grandpa's famous quotes funny or not.

[Sooner Fan]

Some aren't very lady like may not want to read......................

When we were workin' around the house he'd always answer the phone when people called he would always tell them !

"Im busier than a one eyed starring at two mice holes"

Sometimes when he would get pissed at me or my brothers he would say !

"Im offa you like a dirty shirt"

When we got older I was pumping gas gettin ready to go fishin' He walked outta the gas station after payin for gas and bait and said about the lady clerk !

"I'd like fer her to ride my face like a bicycle seat"

[frostypeters]

From my dad, the finest example of a man I'll ever know...

"I'll roll you out like wholesale carpeting..."

"It's okay, run away. You have to sleep sometime..."

"If you shake it more than twice, your playing with it..."

While driving past a mental institution, "See that big mansion, that's where your real parents live..."

"Jeez, you're getting big, how tall are you now?" I give an answer... "Really, I didn't know they could stack shit that high..."

And everyone's favorite...

"Hey, pull my finger...":bonk:

[TBONE]

Im gonna spank you with a King switch when I get home

tunitaloose (for Let go of it)

Woman do what I tell you

[Wingfoot]

You don't hear me talking like that..... in the house!

Once as a kid I sat at my Grandfather's dinner table without wearing my shirt - "Get them bare tits away from my table!"

Statements by my mentor Jerry, the boss of my part time job with Goodyear Racing:

"Look who just surfaced!"

"I'm calling you Blister. You always show up when the work is done!"

"Why do I always gotta ride you like a show pony?"

I asked Jerry to use the plastic toilet facilities at Capitol Raceway in Baton Rouge, "Don't go meandering through the pits. Take care of business and come right back."

Jerry's comment when he and I walked by a World of Outlaws team backup sprint car without a motor, "Powered by Freddie Flintstone."

Jerry greeting a man, accompanied by his 3 adolescent children, at the Lawton, Oklahoma dirt bowl: "You got a good looking pit crew!"

Devil's Bowl, Mesquite, Texas - Jerry is looking at a bald left rear Sprint Car tire with exposed cords and telling the driver: "Boy, you ran this one down to the canvass!"

[underground quester]

Boy, you made your bed, now ya gotta sleep in it (meaning, I had gotten in some kind of trouble and now I had to live with the consequences).

Boy, you wait till your dad gets home (Usually followed number one above meaning I was gonna get an ass-whoopin from my dad)

It's a kind of a thing you know. (Never figured it out. Just started almost every sentence with it).
ie: What time is it? Well, its a kind of a thing you know... about three.